Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
