we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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