If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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