Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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