omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
