We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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