Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
