I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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