I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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