In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
