Moan for me like Helen Keller
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
