he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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