For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
