He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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