So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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