And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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