You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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