Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm always down for nudity.
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