I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
