Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
