OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
