i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
