it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
