Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
