Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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