4 words: hood of his car
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
