They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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