Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Im part way to drunk.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
