Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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