A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
