i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
