we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
