a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
