but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
