i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
