you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
