So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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