Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
