I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
