im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
