but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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