Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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