Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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