There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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