NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
