This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Randomize
