We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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