He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
