If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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