let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
