We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize