i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
