haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
