It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
