Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
