hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
